Wednesday, 17 September 2008

Just another excuse...

Everything is grinding to a halt and all the things that do need doing are not being done and all the things that could be left, or are of no tactical advantage, have become incredibly exciting and I have to do them NOW.
There are drifts laundry under the stairs, unopened post dumped in mounds on what is left of the kitchen table, dust bunnies are breeding and as for work – forget it!
Hands up - I am not the most organised person on the planet. As Dad would say I couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery. I freely admit that - so what is causing the stoppage: The Boy.
To put it more accurately I am in full flooded worry mode after the news that The Boy has Petit Mal – well the GP is pretty certain that it is and now we await our first consultation at hospital to find out how to deal with it.
My mind is so full with questions and concerns and so scared that I cannot articulate any of them. I know from Googling that it can be treated easily. That it is more than likely The Boy will grow out of it. But I can’t help feeling worried – an unspecified worry that niggles all the time.
The day after the news, even though I shed not a single tear, I felt as though I had been weeping constantly. I was exhausted.
I felt frustrated that I could not get it sorted out at once and being told initially that I would have to wait 60 days for a first consultation had me spinning almost out of control.
I don’t want to have too much information before the first consultation in case I start to take issue with the experts – which I understand is not the best way to get them on side. Nor do I want to go in a total ignoramus - so betwixt and in between I sit. Do I or don’t I?
And it’s spreading into the other compartments of my life and I feel a bit like the Titanic about to go down with the bands still playing.
I spent the whole of Friday begging various Epileptic Charities to take me on for the London Marathon via a series of e-mails and slightly mad telephone messages. It just seemed the best way I could do something, the best way to keep myself occupied enough so I wouldn’t cause confusion in the household before the weekend.
All of them were delightful and if they were slightly bemused by being bombarded they took it in their stride. I do hope I get chosen – it would keep us all amused if nothing else this winter.
Or is it just another excuse to be disorganised?


Berthddu Suit said...

Bless you Tattie. It's so difficult when we have no control over things that are happening to our children. It is also dreadful that you have to wait so long to see the consultant. I do hope your mind can be put at rest soon.

Potty Mummy said...

Thinking of you Tattie. As you say, it's treatable, but must still be incredibly worrying.

lampworkbeader said...

Over the years I have come across many children with petit mal. They were all in mainstream schools and they all coped really well.
I know it's useless to say try not to worry, but try to worry as little as possible.

Iota said...

I'll sponsor you! The least I can do.

Milla said...

a couple of brothers at school have it, the elder was diagnosed much later than the Boy, and he is fine and happy and safe. It is the waiting that's so stressful, time into which you can insert your fears and of course no-one ever wants to think that their perfect child is somehow sullied. But luckily we live in a time of knowledge and with a good NHS (My experience anyway) and I am sure all will be dandy. I totally get that becoming an instant expert on a matter, but remember, a little knowledge can be a dangerous thing, so don't freak yourself out. A day at a time and all that.

Milla said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Frances said...

Tattie, you are doing just fine.
Whenever some new, perhaps large, challenge arrives uninvited, it is bound to shake up our very being. Our minds are so fluid and so mysterious in their workings.

Sometimes, when I think back to some sort of major moment that happened decades ago, and try to remember just how I learned to handle it, or learned to work with it, or the trouble I had in doing so, the remembrance sorts amazes me. The acquiring of knowlege and experience can be tough, but we do it little by little, not by magic.

Best wishes.

KittyB said...

It's like that when a situation is out of our control - try to do anything to cope, even daft things make us feel better. And doing the ironing won't help!
Lots of positive comments on Petit Mal, so I hope that's of some comfort to you.

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Oh Tatters my friend. This is a temporary but ultimately distressing thing to watch in a loved one, especially a child. You said in my blog I was strong - not so. Caring for a child who is distressed and confused takes real strength. You have it, he's lucky you are his mum. Bon courage, it will work out well in the end.

Tattie Weasle said...

Thank you all so much! Your support is greatly appreciated. Appointment has been secured next Tuesday!! and so of course The Boy is cockhoop about that. Why? No school of course!!!

Mom/Mum said...

Sending you best wishes Tattie. Good luck with the appointment.


Oh Tattie I know how you feel, when youngest had to go into hospital this year my heart and soul froze and I spent my life arguing with God whilst at teh same time tryign t appear unflapped and far from worried so as nit to upset him. Myheart goes out to yuo.


My brother was diagnosed with Petit Mal in his 30s. God knows how many years he had actually had it, but it had never really impeded on his life. He took some drugs for a while to control it then eventually stopped after a year or so - and he hasn't suffered since. It seems that the drugs to control it are known sometimes to cure it. This is what happened to my brother, so I hope that gives you some reassurance.

I understand where you are with not being able to settle to anything - I never can when something is worrying me or I have to make a big decision. It is the 'life in limbo' syndrome. It is a relief when it is past. Am I right in thinking the appointment is today? Good luck with it all and I trust you will come back feeling better and more informed about things - and able to crack on with your marathon training!!

Pam said...

Yes, the 'life in limbo' feeling is not good at all - the restless unable-to-settle feeling. You will feel much better when you have more information.In my field of education,many children I teach have this and it is quite manageable, and not really cause for concern, just detailed and timed observation which is incorporated in a health care plan. Wishing you all the best in this.

Go on you know you want to...


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