I’ve just had a call from a lovely lady in the Village who informs me that one of my chickens is missing.
“Really?” Says I, “which one?”
“The brown one.”
“Right, um… do you know which brown one?”
“Well the one that’s missing…”
“Are you sure it’s mine?”
“Well, I asked Annie and she said it was….”
Now I don’t mind holding my hand up to ownership of said chicken it just depends whether the said chicken has been behaving itself. So I tremulously asked what the chicken had been up to. Imagination in overdrive after reading an article which linked Jurassic Park velociraptors to chickens, I imagined said chicken stalking unwary village folk, flying out at head height and scaring toddlers into dropping their sweets, chasing old age pensioners into their sheds then scrabbling away at the dirt outside the doors in an attempt to get in and all the time my said chicken was growing from bantam size into something the magnitude of a small Nissan Micra.
As she started to speak my heart started thudding rather uncomfortably….
“Oh no, the chicken’s just been wandering around for the past few days and we were getting worried about it.”
After recent events in the Village I was mighty relieved to hear those comforting words – all it had been doing was causing people to be worried…phew!
I have now arranged to catch it tomorrow and bring it back to the flock… I’m not sure if it is going to be too pleased about these events as it is obviously enjoying the attentions of several households, which have been feeding it a variety of food from crisps and breadcrumbs to hamster food.