Monday, 7 May 2007

Statements of fact: and willies

The Boy has trotted past stark naked; he should be in bed but instead he is up and wandering around. He spots me looking at him, gives a cheeky grin than suddenly makes a dash for his bedroom.
Me: “What are you doing? Where are your pyjamas?”
Him: “Off!”
Me: “I can see that. Where are they?”
Him: “I want to be naked - for always!”
Me: “Well you can’t.”
Him: “Why not?”
Me: “You’ll be cold.”
Him: “No, I wont. I’m not now.”
Me: “Put your pyjamas on.”
Him: “No!”
Me: “Do as I say!”
Him: “No!”
I hold his pyjamas out trying not to show that I am laughing but it is too late he knows. And then that’s it he’s running round his bedroom squealing with delight.
Him chanting: “I aaamm naked. Look at my Willeee!”
Oh God! Four-year-old boys and willies.
Him still chanting: “I’ve got a willee and youooo haven’t!”
Me, very serious now: “Right get dressed now. Bed.”
Him: “Why haven’t you got a willy?”
Me: “I’m a girl.”
Him: “But why?”
Me: “Cos I am.”
He stops and lets me help him put his pyjamas on.
Him: “If you weren’t a girl you would have a willy.”
Me: “Oh really.”
Him: “If you weren’t a girl you wouldn’t be my mummy.”
Me: “Probably not.”
Him: “I love you. I’m glad you haven’t got a willy.”
I hug him, kiss him and turn to go out the room.
Him: “Do I have to wear clothes tomorrow?”


lixtroll said...

That is absolutely priceless! Love it x


He is right too you know, my father said never trust a man who wears pjammas he has something to hide!

I sahll send you a copy of Krisha Vlodaflodavodavitch portrait to keep handy for lighting candles next power cut dear! Maadame Grognonne has run off several for just such a pupose.

Pondside said...

You too me right back to when I was chasing my boy around after bath time. You're right, it isn't the same at all with girls - it's a lot more restful - but I wouldn't have traded for the world.

Exmoorjane said...

Yup, classic four-year old - beautifully captured! Though, hate to say it but eight year olds seem to retain a penchant for running round naked too, waving their willies.
I remember when I was little (about three maybe) seeing my boy cousin naked - and spotting his willy and wondering if I had had one which had dropped off, or would be getting one later on! The latter was a scary thought but I consoled myself with the fact that I was older than he was so mine must have fallen off! Logical eh? And quite the opposite of Freud's penis envy!

countrymousie said...

What a wonderful picture you paint of the little one (I mean the boy not the willy!).
Lovely blog Tattie - having had the two stepsons I was relieved the Heiress was a girl. love mousie

bodran... said...

S 2 asked where hers was looking very confused at j 4's and i told her she played with it so much it fell off "j's face was a picture"..xx

Go on you know you want to...


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