Monday, 25 October 2010

Writing under the influence…


Have you ever done it? I mean tried writing when you were drunk? I am doing it now and perhaps that is not a good thing but I suppose it depends on what kind of drunk you are. Of course I am not saying that I am drunk; merely sort of unhinged, no not unhinged that would be me about to go to the nut house when actually I am already there. What I meant was liberated but that’s pretty close to unhinged isn’t it?
There are a lot of squiggly red lines when you are liberated and the question is should one care? Or is that part of the process?
I am merrily drunk, happily pissed, unilaterally uninhibited. If it were warmer I swear I would divest myself of clothing and go frighten the chickens by swanning about nymph like in my wood but I don’t think it would be appreciated. By neither my neighbours nor my husband.
However there’s the devil in me wishing I was really as uninhibited…
I find it fascinating how after all these years my writing reflects how much I feel and how I can tell by those first few lines exactly what I was thinking and feeling at the time even though mostly what I write is fairly prosaic. I am sure we all notice it when we give ourselves the time. It’s a bit like looking at a photograph; you are slightly divorced from the moment and then you are there. It’s all in your mind’s eye and the scents, feelings and sensibility of the occasion all come rushing in as you fight your way back to the time when…
I am a writer but until right now I never admitted it. It’s kind of a bitter secret for by admission I feel I am announcing that I am merely an observer of life rather than one of its participants but it has always been thus. I have never quite fitted in either in my family or with my friends. Maybe I am kinda autistic but perhaps that is wishful thinking. There should be no excuses.
Carpe deum should be my motto but I fear it is more mea culpa and sometimes even cave canem.
Maybe that’s how I should describe my life –apologising for seizing the day then blaming it on the dog…
Well they do say In Vino Veritas….

9 comments:

Very Bored in Catalunya said...

I have on many occasion blogged under the influence. I regularly (read every Friday)tweet whilst a bit sozzled.

The most annoying thing is that my fingers don't work so well and it takes forever to type a coherent sentence.

Mud in the City said...

Your comment about feeling like a participant, not totally fitting in with family or friends - I think that sounds like me too. Feeling ever so slightly outside things - and not just when under the influence!

Expat mum said...

Laughing out loud at your candidness (if that's a word.) The problem with commenting or blogging while pissed is I forget what I wrote and then I get Tweets and e-mails kindly taking me up on my offer. What offer? Apparently I offer to guest post every where and otherwise pimp out my time and "talent".

Preseli Mags said...

I always think I have my most erudite moments when slightly pissed. I am hugely impressed that you were able to type unilaterally uninhibited while merrily drunk. It's just taken me four goes and that's in the morning freshly coffee-ed.

Posie said...

That made me giggle. I have come to the conclusion that everyone feels a bit like they don't quite fit in...well I certainly do, and I see Mud in the City does too. I bet we would get a real surprise if we could see other peoples thoughts and insecurities, even among the most seemingly confident and bubbly people. Best wishes. Ha ha the word I have to type below for verification is 'winesc' I often find these gobbledegook words relate to the blog...or is it just my imagination....

Crystal Jigsaw said...

I'm another who feels detatched from reality, not actually realising it until faced with it.

CJ xx

Iota said...

What a great post.

Spencer Park said...

I agree with Iota - great words!

In fact they are so good I don't believe you are under the influence and won't until you post photos of you frightening the chickens!

elizabethm said...

I do entirely love the phrase "apologising for seizing the day and blaming it on the dog"! Just fabulous.

Go on you know you want to...

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